


because i love you

by homopoetic



Category: VIXX
Genre: Aftercare, Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, BDSM, BDSM Scene, CG/L, CG/L Dynamics, Caregiver/little, Child Abuse, Consensual Kink, Consensual Non-Consent, Consent Play, Infantilism, Little Space, M/M, Rape Fantasy, Rape/Non-con Elements, Top Drop, a lot of this could be potentially triggering, all characters are over the age of 18, lapslock, like over 500 words of aftercare, more details in the author notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 10:20:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11159889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homopoetic/pseuds/homopoetic
Summary: hyuk is hakyeon's first everything and hyuk's determined to be his last. hakyeon will grow up and they'll be able to go on dates together without judgment. they'll be able to get married, have children, and live a normal life.





	because i love you

**Author's Note:**

> **please take the tags seriously. the content in this fic could be triggering or generally disturbing. if you would like to skip to the aftercare and top drop, which is nonsexual in nature, search for the word "door." if you want to know more, continue reading the notes.**  
>   
> 
> — this fic portrays a previously negotiated scene between two consenting adults in a bdsm and caregiver/little relationship.  
> — hakyeon is a little. sanghyuk is his caregiver.  
> — hakyeon calls hyuk his "hyung." there is no usage of the term "daddy" in this fic. this is not a "daddy kink" fic. it is used as a term of endearment, therefore "hyung kink" didn't seem like an appropriate tag.  
> — this scene explores non-consensual touching, coercion using physical and emotional abuse, the sexualization and romanticiziation of a "child," and pedophilic thoughts.  
> — hakyeon is in little space throughout the scene. he is in a state of childlike innocence and is taken advantage of.  
> — following the scene, there is a great deal of aftercare and mutual affection and reassurance. hyuk also experiences top drop.

hyuk sits down on the couch. "come here. i have a surprise for you."

hakyeon is a good boy and so he obeys him well. he stops playing with his toy after a second of reluctance and runs to hyuk, smiling. his eyes are wide and sweet and innocent. hyuk loves the gentle pout of his lips when he refuses to tell him what the surprise is.

"are you excited?" hyuk asks.

hakyeon nods five times. hyuk counts; he can't take his eyes off him.

"i don't know if i believe you. show me how excited you are, yeonnie."

from where hyuk is sitting, hakyeon kneels down and braces himself on hyuk's thighs and starts wiggling with excitement. he begs to see. he pulls closer, chest brushing hyuk's knees, reaching for the plastic bag in his lap. hyuk's holding it from the top so he goes underneath. the back of his hand presses into hyuk's crotch.

hyuk holds the bag loosely and lets hakyeon grab for it. his hands wiggle against his crotch so many times that it has to be intentional. hakyeon can be so bad. he acts coy but knows exactly what he wants.

"okay, okay! i believe you," hyuk says, laughing. hakyeon laughs, too. he laughs so sweetly, hands resting on hyuk's thighs. "here, look inside. i hope you like it."

hakyeon's eyes light up when he sees. he sits down on the floor and takes out the package and looks to hyuk for reassurance.

"take them out," hyuk says. "do you need help?"

hakyeon fumbles for a second but shakes his head. his hands are clumsy with the packaging. eventually he manages to rip it. "superhero undies?" he's excited but hesitant. he looks at them, holds them tightly between his fingers. the same hands that grabbed naughtily at hyuk's crotch are so delicate now.

hyuk reaches out and strokes hakyeon's hair. "you like them, right?"

hakyeon nods. "they're really cool, hyung!"

"come on now, try them on. hyung wants to see if they fit."

hakyeon hesitates again.

"only i will see," hyuk says. "don't worry. your parents aren't here; you won't get in trouble."

after the reassurance, hakyeon happily takes off his shirt and pants. he seems so innocent now. he has no idea what effect he has on him. it confuses hyuk. perhaps he's insecure and needs to know how sinful and irresistible he is. if he knew, would he find someone else?

"your panties, too," hyuk says, ruffling hakyeon's hair. "silly boy. you can't try them on properly unless you take that off too."

hakyeon turns around and does as he's told. he's so shy, not wanting to expose his pretty cock. hyuk almost makes him turn back around but then he takes in the curve of his ass. it's so tempting that he wants to punish hakyeon for it.

hakyeon faces him again.

"they fit you well," hyuk says, keeping him still with a hand on his shoulders. he looks at everything.

hakyeon looks away. he seems uncomfortable but he's blushing. that's when hyuk knows he's making the right decision. hakyeon's crush on him is almost tangible and hyuk is desperate to be his first. he's sure of that now.

"yeonnie." hyuk's voice is low and serious and hakyeon looks startled for a moment. "come here. hyung wants to ask you something."

hakyeon could sit beside him on the couch. instead he climbs into his lap. it's natural. this feels right. this is how it should be.

hyuk wraps his arms around hakyeon's waist. his fingertips brush hakyeon's bellybutton. he could go further, lower, if he wanted to. instead he leans back and puts his hands on hakyeon's hips and moves him back and forth over his crotch.

hakyeon seems to forget that hyuk was going to ask him anything. he gets distracted by the cartoon on television. when he notices what hyuk is doing, he laughs, thinking it's a game.

hyuk bites down on his lower lip. throws his head back. breathes hard. he cums in his jeans without making a noise; there's only a wet spot to show for it.

"you like me, right?" hyuk asks.

"yep," hakyeon says.

"do you want to be with hyung forever?"

hakyeon nods and looks back at him.

"do you know what people do when they want to be together forever?"

"no," hakyeon says.

"do you want me to show you?"

"is it fun?"

"i think you'll enjoy it," hyuk says. "if you trust hyung, sit over there."

hakyeon slides out of his lap. hyuk's hyperaware of his ass - the friction along his thighs as he drops down beside him on the couch. he looks at hyuk expectantly.

"you're actually so horny, aren't you," hyuk says. "you don't have to hide it anymore. i know you feel ashamed, but it's a natural emotion."

hakyeon's confused.

"stop. i'm tired of the games. i want you. i know you want me, too. right?"

hakyeon nods. his eyes are big. does he understand?

hyuk kisses him softly first. it's quick and sweet, just like it should be. hakyeon laughs, smiles, excited about the affection; hyuk's gaze is so intense that the joy flickers. hyuk cups hakyeon's cheek and leans in again without breaking eye contact or closing his eyes.

he kisses him, this time with tongue, holding him still with a hand to the back of his neck. hakyeon squirms but hyuk presses closer. he wants to be closer, closer, closer.

he wants. he wants to be so close that it's uncomfortable, that their ribs touch. he wants to be so close that their skin is wound away until it's paper thin, bone on bone on bone. he wants them to be so close that it's hard to breathe, that they have shift to make room for each other's lungs expanding, that they have to breathe in turn. 

"hyung - "

hyuk fully settles on top of him, hand sliding down to cup hakyeon's jaw.

"i can't breathe," hakyeon says. he resists, pulls back, tries to turn his head. hyuk's fingers get caught in his mouth: fingernails scratching his gums, knuckles on his teeth, a finger in the warm wet of his mouth, all over his molars.

hyuk nibbles on hakyeon's neck. hakyeon laughs again like he thinks they're playing, saying something about being ticklish, but there's a chord of fear and confusion to his tone. it fades out into a squeal when hyuk bites down harder, determined to break his skin.

the only thing that stops him is the dull realization that hakyeon's parents will be home in a few hours. there's no reason to rush. they've wanted each other for a long time; they'll want each forever after this because hakyeon is hyuk's.

hyuk is hakyeon's first everything and hyuk's determined to be his last. hakyeon will grow up and they'll be able to go on dates together without judgment. they'll be able to get married, have children, and live a normal life.

hyuk catches hakyeon's lips again, face even closer this time. his nose presses into hakyeon's. their foreheads smash together more than once. he bites down on hakyeon's lips more times than he can count, drooling into his mouth, letting everything melt together.

hakyeon inhales quick, sharp breaths. he sounds like he's breathing through a straw. he pushes at hyuk's chest with his fists. he bumps their foreheads and bites down on hyuk's tongue and in the second where hyuk flinches backwards, hakyeon turns his head in the other direction.

"this isn't fun," hakyeon says quietly. the lighting in the living room is dim but the television is on, playing the same cartoon.

"were you lying to me?" hyuk asks.

hakyeon doesn't answer. when the screen lights up for dramatic effect, some sort of magic attack from one of the characters on-screen, hakyeon's eyes glisten even more clearly.

"you said you trusted hyung," hyuk says. "were you lying to me?"

"no," hakyeon says. "lying is bad."

"lying is good sometimes," hyuk corrects. "but you should never, ever lie to the person you want to be with forever. never lie to hyung. pinky promise?"

hakyeon stares at the television. "i wanna go now."

hyuk slaps him.

it takes a second before hakyeon bursts into tears.

"you lied to me. that's what you get."

hakyeon cries more, more, more instead of accepting his punishment. so loud, so whiny.

hyuk claps his hand over hakyeon's mouth and rolls hakyeon's nipple between his fingers. "stop. you don't have to be ashamed, hakyeon."

hyuk kisses hakyeon's neck, collarbone, nipple, bellybutton. hakyeon keeps looking at the television, mouth set in a stubborn line, and hyuk decides to let him do that for now. if hakyeon is shy, it's okay. he'll get more comfortable with time.

hyuk kisses hakyeon over the underwear. they smell like him, not like the dusty walmart that hyuk got them from. he traces the shape of hakyeon's cock with his tongue, leaving wetness as an outline, a guideline. he presses his tongue down on it. on his dick.

it's exhilarating.

his hand loosens over hakyeon's mouth. hakyeon lets out a noise just shy of a scream before hyuk muffles him again, this time shoving a few fingers between his teeth.

hakyeon stares defiantly at the television but his lips are quivering. his tongue slides between the fingers like he's trying to form words around them. wetness gathers at the top of hyuk's hand. tears. snot.

hyuk presses down harder against him, trapping his hand between them. hakyeon wheezes. the pressure must be uncomfortable because hakyeon lashes out his legs.

hyuk shifts. double checks that he's not keeping hakyeon from moving his legs. he waits for hakyeon to put them around his waist but he doesn't, so he keeps going like nothing happened.

he feels hakyeon each time he inhales. their ribs press together, grind against each other. there's not enough space. short, rushed breaths.

hyuk adjusts his arm so that he has space to press his face into hakyeon's neck. moves his hand so that his palm is over hakyeon's mouth, fingers pressing into his nose and the rest of his face. his pinky slides into hakyeon's nostril. he moves it apologetically to upper lip. when hakyeon tries to bite him, it drops into his mouth, scratching into his gums. (hooking underneath his front teeth to keep it from happening again.)

even as his wrist starts to cramp, hyuk focuses on palming hakyeon because he's a good hyung. he grinds down on the back of his own hand a few times. between the zipper of his jeans and the ridges of his knuckles, it stings.

hyuk slips his fingers underneath the waistband of hakyeon's underwear. that's when hakyeon's legs quiver again and slowly, slowly he wraps them around hyuk's waist. it's a clumsy movement that trembles with his sobs.

hyuk sits back, removes his hands from hakyeon, and walks to the bathroom down the hall. he closes the door.

the sound of a door closing is a constant for them - a clear indicator that the scene has ended and it's time to come back to themselves. when he opens the door again, he'll be hyuk. the same hyuk that finds hakyeon every time and mends him.

hyuk takes a few seconds to stare at himself in the mirror. see if he recognizes himself. he realizes that his eyes are unfocusing. he can't concentrate. he washes his hands. (he washes them three times - once with scalding water, once with cold water, once with lukewarm water.)

hyuk returns to himself a bit.

he grabs the supplies that he'd left on the counter. he changes into the clean boxers he prepared. he gets a pair for hakyeon and a big blanket (hakyeon's favorite, the one with bunnies on it) and a juice box. he gets hakyeon's favorite plushie, just in case he doesn't want to cuddle hyuk.

hyuk opens the door, reminds himself of who he is with every step, and returns. hakyeon's still on the couch in the same position, eyes glassy as he stares at the television, one arm hanging off the side. his face is covered in tears and snot and drool. there's blood on his lip. a scratch on his face.

hyuk sets everything down on the coffee table. he opens his juice box for him and puts it down on the floor near hakyeon's hand. he folds up the blanket and drapes it over the back of the couch.

hakyeon pulls in his legs to give hyuk a place to sit.

they stare at the television in silence for a few minutes.

"may i touch you?" hyuk asks. it's important to reinforce boundaries and consent but his lungs feel like they're expanding, like they're being filled with helium and might float out of his chest. what if hakyeon says no?

hakyeon sniffles. nods, barely.

"can you look at me?" hyuk asks. "take your time."

hakyeon meets his eyes. he looks shattered. hyuk wonders if he can really guide him back to safety.

"what's your name?" hyuk asks.

"hakyeon. cha hakyeon."

"and what's my name?"

"h-han sanghyuk," he whispers.

"that's right. good job," hyuk says. "do i have your permission to touch you, hakyeon?"

hakyeon nods. it's still a tiny movement but he looks straight into hyuk's eyes as he does it. hyuk grabs a baby wipe and passes over hakyeon's face with it.

"is there anywhere you don't want to be touched?"

"down there," hakyeon says sharply. "don't touch me there."

"i definitely won't touch you there." hyuk stands up. "do you have to pee?"

hakyeon shakes his head.

"thank you, hakyeon. i know that was hard. i'm going to pick you up now. you don't have to do anything, i just wanted to let you know."

hyuk lifts hakyeon up and sits back down with him in his arms. he lies down behind him, spooning him, and drapes the blanket over them, pulling it up all the way to their chins. 

hakyeon doesn't say anything. he's shaking. they both are. hyuk feels like he's done some irreparable damage to hakyeon (and unlocked a monster in himself).

hyuk does what he can to make aftercare just as good as always. he whispers nonsense to hakyeon, makes sure to say his name, strokes his hair, kisses his face, hums softly in his ears.

hakyeon is mostly unresponsive through it, but he leans into the kisses. it's enough to reassure hyuk for a bit. he assumes that it's all he needs. that the sinking feeling in his stomach will go away. 

half of a movie passes before he starts to overheat. he tries to deal with it but eventually has to excuse himself, whispering soft apologies and reassurance to hakyeon. "i'll be right back," he says.

he paces around the room for a bit. he still wants to be close but he needs to cool down. he's so hot that it feels like his insides are vibrating, humming. he moves to the kitchen when it starts to feel like his organs are cooking. somewhere to hide.

hakyeon wouldn't want him to hide. hakyeon never, never hides from him. because he trusts him.

hyuk goes back.

"hakyeon." hyuk's voice is pitiful and fluttery. he sits down on the floor in front of the couch. in front of hakyeon. "i'm not - i don't - feel… right."

"hyung…" hakyeon's eyes are wide and bright and hyuk wonders if he's too little to deal with this right now. he feels guilty for thinking it, but right now he really wants the hakyeon that's older than him.

"we can talk about the scene later. don't worry, hakyeon. don't push yourself."

hakyeon reaches out for hyuk and fondles his cheek. his hand is cold and trembling and he has to use his other hand to hold his arm up. 

"remember what hyung makes me repeat after scenes," hakyeon says. "everything hyung does is because he loves me."

hyuk inhales. "yes." his voice is steady. hard but hollow, like a steel pipe.

"you're not going to repeat it?" 

"i'll cry."

hakyeon pouts. obviously, hyuk gives in.

"everything i do is because - " hyuk's voice cracks. "because i love you."

" _i_ love you, okay?"

hyuk leans forward and presses his forehead into the couch and cries. hakyeon's right there the whole time, petting his hair, playing with his ears… and loving him, just the way he needs to be loved.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading ^^; i don't really answer comments,, so just know that i'm grateful!! uwu
> 
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